A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
Proverbs 19:11 NASB95
We know it is wise to be slow to anger. We know anger, like all sinful passions, must be kept in check. It can be a flood of instant emotion that must be held under control. How can we do that? Have (train within ourselves) discretion. The Lord tells us here that discretion is key to self-control.
Discretion - 1. the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information. 2. the freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation. (Google Dictionary 2023). Both of those are good definitions and I particularly like the emphasis on Quality (relates to character) and Freedom (free will - personal responsibility). However, when it comes to the book of Proverbs, it would define discretion more along the lines of the “wise application of knowledge and understanding in any particular situation”
So how does discretion help us have self-control; and in particular, help us be slow to anger? Because discretion causes us to slow down and react intellectually versus emotionally.
Discretion is a husband realizing that a wife is not really upset at him the second he walks through the door and she starts griping about things, but that she might be stressed or tired or hungry or all of the above. (or actually upset at him - but he will respond with sympathy and kindness anyway. 😀)
Discretion is a wife not getting angry with her husband, realizing that her husband may not be giving her the silent treatment but instead might just be in deep thought about something. (not even necessarily anything deep or profound)
Discretion is a parent who considers a child might not be acting out because they are trying to be rebellious and disobedient, but because they are tired, or hungry, or need their diaper changed, or are seeking attention, etc.
Discretion is realizing that although the lesson the preacher preached hit you square between the eyes, you aren’t offended because you know he likely isn’t spying on you; but rather, is speaking the truth from God’s word which is what is truly convicting you.
Discretion is not responding in road rage because someone cut you off in traffic because you realize you’ve actually innocently done the same thing several times and you are going to give the other driver the benefit of the doubt.
Discretion is not getting angry at every little thing because you don’t want to be an angry miserable person, and so instead you are going to choose peace, and joy, and contentment.
And the list goes on. Hopefully, you get the idea. Discretion is about pausing, taking a breath, and gaining/using perspective (like we talked about last week) to be slow to anger. Vengeance is not the answer to every slight in life. Righteous (or unrighteous) indignation is not necessary for every tiny infraction against your hold and just self. Anger and rage are not praiseworthy. Rather, “it is his glory to overlook a transgression”. I’m not saying never hold others accountable. I’m saying the bible is saying hold yourself accountable FIRST, and realize the blessing, and peace, and joy, and contentment that comes from not turning every molehill of offense into a mountain of volcanic erupting rage.
If this is a major problem for you, start with the small things. Work on the small things (like reducing your list of pet peeves) and then build up from there. Train yourself to pause, train yourself to take a long deep breath, train yourself to gain perspective…………………… and then act godly.
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